一个家庭里，父母或grand parents总会扮演不同的角色，父亲通常扮演硬的，母亲是柔的，一般孩子知道；如果做错事一定会被父亲严重修理，母亲会罗索几句就算了，更多时候当父亲要打骂孩子时，孩子会找母亲做庇护:)这种情形日后会带给孩子一定的影响，是负面的。所以正切的方法是父母一定要有一致的看法和教导，如果各方有不同的看法时，一定要在孩子不在场的时候来谈妥，再来教导孩子。感觉以下文章写的不错，可以学习。。
剪贴如下：
An inconsistency in parenting style, while normal, can be confusing to child. He will become unsure as to which parent he should listen to. He might even take advantage of the situation to play off his parents against each other. In addition, when he learns that one parent is less strict than other, he would be more likely to misbehave when the laid back parent is looking after him alone. It's best for the parents to put on a united front, so neither of the two is deemed the good cop or bad cop. When parents work together as a team, their child will get the message that his parents back up each other's decision and he will learn that certain behaviour will result in either approval or disapproval from both parents. This would prevent him from taking advantage of the more lenient parent.
Parents often feel that each has the better method of parenting style, but keep in mind that there is more than one right way to raise a child, and there are pros and cons to every style of parenting.
Take the time to discuss the best way to deal with conflicting parenting views, and work together towards a comprimise that both of you are comfortable with. Listen to each other's opinions, and be oopen to learning from each other's insights.
whatever parental disagreements your spouse and you might have, they should be discussed behind closed doors. Avoid accusing, nlaming or making nasty comments about each other in front of the child. Children feel hurt when they hear their parents saying unpleasant things about each other, and they often feel as if they are being forced to choose between the two parents.
All said, you should accept the fact that there might be some issues that parents might never see eye-to-eye on. Indeed, It's impossible to be agreeable on every single thing as no two individuals are exactly alike. So pick up you battle - identify and tackle the issues which you feel are most important to you, and don't be nitpicky about the less important ones.
Remenber that parenting is not about competing with each other to see who can do the best for the children, but what you can do together to raise them in the best possible way.
